Tuna anyone?

some poetry

A Haiku for Hewitt i spotted on a website

Fuck off fuck off fuck
Just fucking fuck right off
fucking fucker grrrrr


There that should do it.

Radio Four Poetry corner anyone?


(apols to SJB forpinching this just thought was reet great - if you want it removed then just let me know)

an amusing tale close to my heart

Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the
side of a deserted road in the Highlands. Suddenly, a brand new bright
Red Porsche 911 appears and screeches to a halt beside him. The driver,
a woman wearing a Chanel suit, Ray Bans and a Cartier watch, steps out
and asks the shepherd, "If I can guess how many sheep you have can I
keep one?". The shepherd looks at the large flock and says 'Okay'. The
woman connects a laptop to a mobile phone fax, enters the NASA website,
scans the field using GPS, opens a database linked to 60 Excel files
with logarithms and pivot tables, then prints out a 150 page report on a
high tech mini printer.

She studies the report and says to the shepherd "You have exactly 1,586
sheep". The shepherd replies "That's correct. You can have the pick of
my flock". The woman packs away her equipment, looks at the flock and
puts one in the boot of her Porsche.

As she is about to leave the shepherd says "If I can guess your
profession will you return the animal to me?". The woman thinks for a
moment, then agrees. The shepherd says "You are an NHS manager".
"Correct" responds the woman, "but how did you know?"

The shepherd replies "Simple, first you came without being invited.
Second, you wasted a lot of time telling me something I already knew.
Third, you don't understand anything about the work I do, but interfere
anyway - Now can I have my dog back?"!!!

In Narnia

Had a drive up into the Brecon Beacons the other day with my girlfriend and at the top of the pass there are a lot of pine forests (down the left side of Pen-Y-Fan). we stopped for 10 mins as it was about minuw 4 degrees thinking how much the forest looked like the one in Narnia the recent film.

Attached here is a picture that we took that ive messed with slightly but its a close up (and is orientated correctly) of pine needles that have got horizontal mini icicles on them due to the icy easterly wind that blows up the valley all day and night.

Let me know what you think