18 hours to go

At last...the build up is worse than Live 8 and no fit presenters (if you can see old Sir Bob in that light then good luck to you) to tide you over until the off....

I am flying tomorrow from Bristol at 5 .45 pm landing at 9pm in Madrid and then getting overnight to Bilbao on northern coast. What a bloody palaver (if anyone knows the background (grandad?) of the word Palaver then i would be most grateful)

In order to fly on a plane with the bike you require a bike box...here is the phonecall to Bristol Airport

Advice Person "Yes sir you are allowed to take the bike with you...you however need a bike box, which we used to sell down in check-in"
Me : "USED to sell?"
Advice person : "Thats correct sir"
Me "Do you get regular fliers with their bikes?"
Advice Person : "Oh yes sir"
Me "And theres no boxes to sell to these fliers"
Advice Person : No sir, I believe you can bring them with you though"
Me "And where on a bike do you think i put a bike box?
Advice Person : I didnt think of that. I can put you through to the cleaning company if you like?
Me: "Sorry? I thought we were talking about bike boxes - why on earth do i want to talk to your contractors?"
Advice person: I thought that they might be able to give you some cardboard boxes, sir. Please hold whilst i connect you {greensleeves ensues, gleefully massacred by the Azabaijanian Dwarf Assembly Quartet)

etc ad nauseam

I feel dirty and need a shower - i assume john cleese has to go through this at every opportunity

Spanish airports have an absolute industry running bike boxes at 10 euros a throw. Much as I would like to have the stabilisers stolen off my beast i think it safer all round if the thing is wrapped up so that some poor unfortunate worker doesnt get a derailleur through the orbit! AAAAAANNyway..I have got an idea - i will drive from Morriston Swamp to cardiff, borrow box there from bike shop, get dropped off at trainstation, wrap box on train, put box in bottom of Airport express at temple meads put on plane and hope that it (bike) doesnt get diverted to Kuala Lumpur.

Remember that bloody stupid Millenium Jellyfish that has wormed its way onto the credits of Eastenders looking from space like a giant Madonna Nipple of the 80's era? Well the 800 million odd that that cost could have gone on cycle paths etc. Bastards.

Anyway chaps at the bottom of each post you will note the toggle to make a comment - please feel free to do so(as it will make me feel that this trip has some comedy value) although extreme abuse I believe gets moderated by the bosses of the website.

Take care my lovelies (sorry Bristol)

Jamie xx