Monday, May 08, 2006

Something i read by graham norton in the Telegraph

This made me laugh

Dear Graham
I'm a healthy male in my thirties from a strait-laced, presbyterian background (my father is a clergyman). I recently "came out" and am struggling to adapt to the casual, no-strings culture of the gay scene. The problem is that I tend to get heavy and serious too quickly and this puts a lot of men off. Although I have no problem getting dates, I never seem to be able to hang on to them, and this leaves me feeling used and despondent. I have many (mainly heterosexual) friends, but I long to have a proper partner for doing couply things like walking the dog and going to Ikea. Do I give off the wrong signals? Luke D, Kent

Dear Luke
You have to run before you can walk. Dogs and DIY are where relationships end up, not where they start. For now, you're trapped on the dance floor working your way through a lot of frogs. It may take time to find your prince, but if the worst that happens is a deal of casual sex before you and Rover tackle the flatpack coffee table, how bad is that?

Sex without love may not be ideal, but it is still sex. You might be doing it slightly later in life than most, but enjoy your own personal coming-out party. As I said to an earlier correspondent, you had better enjoy life with yourself before you can enjoy it with someone else.

Don't worry: one day you'll have your wedding list at Ikea and a small dog will carry a basket of flowers in its mouth down the aisle. It might make me feel sick, but if that's what you want…

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Bloody supermarkets

Bought some DVD's last week for 9.95 - they dont work of course being very inferior quality so i take them back....naturally being embarrassed that i shop in such a chav place i have lost the receipt. Tescos after much rangling including "We cant take them back cos you opened them" (me replying "You sold me defective crap so you can have em back no matter whether they are opened or not")

Much grumbling from the midwife-like satan spawn behind the counter she then says i can only have 8 quid back on them cos they cost 8 quid this week, and i can only spend 8 quid in the "non-food" section.

Anyway it takes me an hour to get fertiliser, 4 pounds of sugar, an alarm clock, a block of plasticine and some copper wire which i then take to the counter and (ticking in the background) ask for a nine volt battery.

Made me laugh......

Friday, April 14, 2006

More music reviews

You will have to excuse me for getting my impressions of these latest CDs from the small excerpts you get on itunes store, but hey i wont buy an album if the exceprts are crap will I

ok lets kick off with

Hayley Westenra - tweedy voice, poorly envisaged - not good - 3/10

Corinne Bayley Ray - well i thought she would be good after her one good hit in the charts but unfortunately a little too pop-y for my liking - some say she has beebn likened to billie holliday - shame really 4/10

Gotan Project - "Lunatico" nice change from other albums out there - some very nice spanish/puerto rican tunes - a useful addition to your colelction to salsa to 7/10

Streets The Hardest Way To Make An Easy Living - i wonder if the only good song was the one in the charts recently about being famous but im sure the rest of it will grow - at last you can get to hear all the swear words edited out by aunti beeb 8/10

Daft Punk - Musique Vol 1 - although a general hater of "best of" albums this offering isnt that bad - quite a few memorable tunes that i didnt know this band brought out - to me its 6/10 but to daft fans then at least a 9/10

Calexico - Garden Ruin - Western meets easy listening meets Belle and Sebastien - good for ironing to - 6/10

THe Organ - Grab that Gun Surprisingly good album by Vancouver based girl band heavily influenced by the Smiths, Cure, and must be some placebo there too - all this and i still dont want to garrot myself with piano wire after listening to it! - 8/10

Placebo - Meds =when i first looked at this i thought oh no not another crap attempt to be as good as the first album with all songs in the same key and him singing the same interval above the bass all the time - but for once refreshingly original - well done 7/10 (ps he still smacks of marc almond on a bad day but there you go excellent cock music)

THe Vines - Vision Valley - hey welcome back to the fold - i never thought they would make it back after covering the Stones' Paint It Black but hey here we go again - good driving music for the summer if you have a soft top 6/10

Yeah yeah yeahs - Show your bones - a little to busy for me and the second album in a year which makes me think they arent putting much effort into it 4/10

Secret Machines - Ten Silver Drops - now this one wins my album of the week - quite bowie-esque but then ambient at the same time - if you like Sigur Ros you wont hate this too much spesh with it being in english and all that 8.5/10


More music next time guys

love J x

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Hot and Not

Whats hot and whats not - wish Jo Whiley were here to do the count down but will keep such fantasies to myself.

Whats Hot? New band - Public Symphony- very Keane/Pink Floyd/Massive Attack - a bit musak but good to iron/hoover to

Whats Not? Constant URTI (upper respiratory tract infection) keeping me run down, even whilst on holiday.

Whats hot? - work are getting a locum in to cover me for a couple of nights im meant to be working

Whats not? - feeling guilty about same above.

Whats hot? Its easter and the bunnies are out

What not? - Prince's new Album - hes too old to sound like a 80s teenager on acid anymore

Whats hot? - Having a new backup drive and OSX Tiger for my powerbook

Whats not? - Finding out its not a bootable drive rendering restoring images very tricky indeed.

Monday, March 27, 2006

Poor links

The trouble with using other peoples links is that you are reliant on using their abiltiy to keep thefile in one place

oh well ill just let you click

here to see my favourite advert at the moment - the one with the bouncy balls

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

My fave new song

Got this from a milwaukee radio station online - really good get up and go music for the day to get rid of those winter blues....I dont think youll be disappointed (apparently its also the theme tune for chris moyles radiop show on radio 1 as well but there you go. If you right click on it and open it in a new window you can listen to whilst you read the rest of this blog.

Gnarls Barkley - Crazy

Where i work





Working night shifts in Wales own Bermuda Triangle

These three photos were taken one hour and ten miles away in between each one on the same day that 6 inches of snow fell in 6 hours

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Tuna anyone?

Monday, February 06, 2006

some poetry

A Haiku for Hewitt i spotted on a website

Fuck off fuck off fuck
Just fucking fuck right off
fucking fucker grrrrr


There that should do it.

Radio Four Poetry corner anyone?


(apols to SJB forpinching this just thought was reet great - if you want it removed then just let me know)

Sunday, February 05, 2006

an amusing tale close to my heart

Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the
side of a deserted road in the Highlands. Suddenly, a brand new bright
Red Porsche 911 appears and screeches to a halt beside him. The driver,
a woman wearing a Chanel suit, Ray Bans and a Cartier watch, steps out
and asks the shepherd, "If I can guess how many sheep you have can I
keep one?". The shepherd looks at the large flock and says 'Okay'. The
woman connects a laptop to a mobile phone fax, enters the NASA website,
scans the field using GPS, opens a database linked to 60 Excel files
with logarithms and pivot tables, then prints out a 150 page report on a
high tech mini printer.

She studies the report and says to the shepherd "You have exactly 1,586
sheep". The shepherd replies "That's correct. You can have the pick of
my flock". The woman packs away her equipment, looks at the flock and
puts one in the boot of her Porsche.

As she is about to leave the shepherd says "If I can guess your
profession will you return the animal to me?". The woman thinks for a
moment, then agrees. The shepherd says "You are an NHS manager".
"Correct" responds the woman, "but how did you know?"

The shepherd replies "Simple, first you came without being invited.
Second, you wasted a lot of time telling me something I already knew.
Third, you don't understand anything about the work I do, but interfere
anyway - Now can I have my dog back?"!!!

In Narnia


Had a drive up into the Brecon Beacons the other day with my girlfriend and at the top of the pass there are a lot of pine forests (down the left side of Pen-Y-Fan). we stopped for 10 mins as it was about minuw 4 degrees thinking how much the forest looked like the one in Narnia the recent film.

Attached here is a picture that we took that ive messed with slightly but its a close up (and is orientated correctly) of pine needles that have got horizontal mini icicles on them due to the icy easterly wind that blows up the valley all day and night.

Let me know what you think

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

How do you trust someone who wont repair an evil deed?

someone i know has done something really terrible. They have made the situation worse by lying about it not just to me but by lying they have propoounded it to everyone they know. The only trouble is the only person who really knows what they have done is me. (correction someone else knows but it doesnt directly affect them like it did me hence i am bringing it up)

This leaves me with a dilemma. Do i still carry on trying to get them to rectify the problem or shall i just leave them to it to search out their conscience one day and admit to themselves that what was done shouldnt have to be suffered by anyone.

I was tempted to let all their friends and loved ones find out about it so that they could see them for what they truly were, but perhaps it is enough just for this person and i to know that i know that they know that what they have done and what they now do is completely and utterly wrong, and that deep down they will have to live with that mistake for the rest of their lives.

I think my anger (which is obvious here) stems from the fact that this person is not only being dishonest to their friends and loved ones but to themselves. I find it difficult to understand that they can get up in the morning and look in the mirror knowing what i know.

I find it difficult also to deal with the fact that i was their friend for many years (apparently their best friend according to them) but that they had continually lied to me and continue to lie, so that they have irrevocably lost me until further notice.

I feel sad and let down that they wont do anything about this....but if losing their friends is a low enough price to pay then so be it.

(NB interpol, what they have done is not illegal!)

My lovely new BFO (copyright B Thomas) keyboard




well here it is


have a look at this piccy if you like - they keyboard is about 5 foot 2 in length too. Although it looks like a table top keyboard its bloody heavy and as wide as an upright piano with full sized keys


when rigged up to the right amp it doesnt sound too far off being a stage concert grand in timbre etc

this is the URL

http://www.maudio.co.uk/products/en_gb/ProKeys88-main.html

theres 14 world class sounding instruments (according to the blurb anyway) and is mean to be on a par with clavinovas in the several thousand pound range

The keys are nicely weighted with a hammer action so anything from jazz to blues to bach is quite easy.

Some of the voices included organs, vibes, hammond etc

Monday, January 30, 2006

New songs and keyboards

Got a lovely M-audio prokeys 88 the other day (URL to follow) but just thought i would put this song up first for those in the know


Emily By Stephen Fretwell

You never were going to change your mind, were you, Emily?
You just sat back, took it all for you, there was nothing for me;
I didn't mean to prove that all I can do is lose

Next time that you need me, don't call me up, Emily;
I'm tired of your lies and your cheating ways with me;
And every time you go, please don't let me know

Emily, you still live inside of me;
And, Emily, you are the fire in my tree;
So if you should fall, please don't call;
And next time you write, I won't stay up all night;
'Cos Emily you, just look at you - you're a tragedy

You never were going to change you mind, were you, Emily?
You just sat back, took it all for you, and nothing was there for me;
I didn't mean to prove that all I'm good for is to lose

Emily, you still live inside of me;
And, Emily, you are the fire in my tree;
So next time you fall, please don't call;
And next time you write, I won't stay up all night;
'Cos Emily you, just look at you - you're a tragedy

You never were going to change you're mind were you, anyway

Monday, December 05, 2005

Wow a whole month with no post

Sorry for the absence -(im sure no sad bugger ever reads these things anyway)

Heres a short list of whats hot and whats not

Hot: Loving my job
Not: working in an environment thats conducive to self loathing

Hot: Applying for my college membership
Not: no beer tokens for a month plus a pass mark of 80%

Hot: Having a break from O&G for six months
Not: Possibly not being able to break back in

Hot: the following albums:Sigur Ros - Takk, Kate Bush - Aerial,Madonna - Confessions etc,Danny Elfman - Charlie and the cholcolate factory, Arvo Part...Missa, Hans Zimmer - Black Hawk Down, Soundtrack to the 5th Element, THe magic numbers and of course still Red Hot Chillis Zephyr song

Not: Sad cats and sour pusses

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Ode to the Caffeinated Grammarian

I found the following in pigeon hole today (see the comments button below)

"that was very sweet - i enjoy seeing other people's sophisticated and realistic reflections on their lives and the nature of their relationships. if only catullus had so much perspective.

i was actually looking for the archaic poet hipponax in the original greek, but this was fun too. cheers. "

Slightly scarey is that when i was 15 my class at school was called Grammar - and more so we were studying Catullus something about about an unnamed girls grave- i wonder if there is more to this than meets the eye?

Monday, October 31, 2005

Interesting Times

Today has been a strange day. I got an email from an ex who said that she has met someone else. More recently I think I would have been gutted, but in a very real way I feel very relieved and set free as it were.

I have been seeing someone for quite a while now who is incredibly lovely and understanding and accepts that although i am seeing her, it is difficult for me to shut out memories of the last person so soon after our split. I find it almost impossible to dislike anyone which is why things might tend to drag out a little.

The irony with the last is that although I knew for a long while (even before we split) that it was not going to work out with her unless she changed a few key fundamental bits about the way she acts and interacts with people, it is, however, difficult when you spend a significant portion of your life with someone, not to think of them, even after a split, for example especially when you experience something that you know your ex would instantly connect with e.g. a film, a piece of music you heard and so on.

The lovely realisation however, is that by knowing she has met someone else, the pure break has finally been made, where there is the possibility of being the friend you were with them before you went out with them, because they would not think that your communications with them could be anything but noble. It is always hard when ex's meet new people,and i would not suggest to anyone that they then become the ultimate soulmate to the ex again overnight...no this might mean that they feel so relaxed with you that they tell you all about their new beau - which will only lead to comparisons being made. I would not be so ungentlemanly to do that to her and would expect the same courtesy from her in kind.

Instead, I am just very content to know that i might be able to share my common interests with my ex again. I have never gone out with anyone that i didnt share a deep friendship with first, and so in a almost Hollywood cliche style, I think it might be possible, just possible, to reconnect with that person again for the common good.

Of course if I and one of my ex's were to meet in other circumstances, where we had both got more experience of life, had let the bad feelings of breakup die down, and had changed enough with these experiences to be far more compatible, then who know...in some circles love never dies and will bring the two together again.

Goodnight Wales.

Monday, October 24, 2005

the wonder that is customer service

Now for a good gripe

1)Just a got a letterom from the telly licence people stating

"We are led to believe that you bought a TV from Comet PLC recently and that you dont have a telly licence" WHen i challenged call centre they said a new recent requirement on statutory law (available to be read from any postoffice) meant that all electrical retailers now have to inform the telly licence office when you buy a tv - whats more if you buy it for a relative you have to snitch on them to the telly people too - what fuckers and no recourse to the data protection act - god i feel like a criminal and need a shower just to feel clean again

2)My credit card company will not take a card payment for my arrears because my card is not on the debt colectors register (yet) - i.e. if i cant pay the arrears cos they wont take me card, then i have to wait til they slap on loads of charges and wreck my credit rating before they will take payment by card. I had better transfer the balance to another interest free one whilst i get the chance!

Thursday, October 13, 2005

look what my sis found

Good sense of humour runs in the family - try thisone thatmy 14 year old sister spotted
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/end.php

Sunday, October 09, 2005

Laugh out loud jokes

One day God calls down to Noah and says "Noah, I want you to make me a new Ark". Noah replies, "No probs God, anything you want after all you're the boss".

But God interrupts, "Ah but there's a catch this time Noah, I want not just a couple of decks, ..... I want 20 decks one on top of the other".

"20 DECKS!", screams Noah, "Well, OK Big Man, whatever you say, should I fill it up with all the animals just like last time?"

"Yep, that's right, well ..... sort of right.......this time I want you
to fill it up with fish" God answers.

"Fish?" queries Noah.

"Yep, fish ... well, to make it more specific Noah, I want Carp, wall to wall, floor to ceiling - Carp!"

Noah looks to the skies, "OK God, let me get this right, you want a New Ark?"

"Check".

"With 20 decks, one on top of the other?".

"Check".

"And you want it full of Carp?".

"Check"

"But why?" asks the perplexed Noah, who was slowly but surely getting to the end of his tether.

"Well...." says God, "I just thought it would be nice to have a Multi-Storey Carp Ark"

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Too much TV

Before this whole blog turns in to a Barry Norman commentary website, telly is only a small portion of my life -however telly is a talking point for many nowadays - old fashioned ones decry the fact that kids watch too much tv, but it has been found that families that watch telly together bond better over conversation...its one of the subjects that can be broached by parents with teenagers. A recent paper study suggested that one shopuldlearn how to beat the kids at playstation if only to communicate with them on an different level.

Quote of the week

"You surprise me."
"Why's that James."
"I thought Christmas came but once a year."

(from The World Is Not Enough)

J x

Saturday, September 24, 2005

My son the fanatic

Possibly one of the best films i ever saw with Om Puri (famous indian actor in just about every major role in western films ever) and Juliette Lewis (NBK, SIx Feet Under, and Cape fear.

Touching build up of strong friendships and affection between Pakistani Immigrant Taxi driver and prostitute both living in Bradford.In meantime his son goes frombeing a model to rejecting all western ideals (hence title)...

Best quote in the film from Om himself

"I have destroyed everything - I have never felt so wretched.....I have never felt so relieved"

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Amnesty International

I stayed up late tonight watching BBC4 - of course having a surgical course tomorrow still hasnt stunted my ability that when i feel an easy day is coming on rather than the humdru mof work, my ability to organise my life goes out the window. I went to a very old public school...one arose at 7.20 in the morning when this big fuck off (copyright to Mr Eddie Izzard of course) alarm bell went off throughout the school.

One would put on ones trousers, still stripped to the waist and trudge to the washbasins, give the teeth a good seeing to, wet ones hair by some gymnastic talent being able to fully immerse ones head in alternately artic water then infernally hot steam that issued from the other tap. The basin was of course about 5 foot off the ground, so those of my fellow pupils who at 13 hadnt started their growth spurt headed downstairs to breakfast with shocking hair - i being taller of course managed to sport the latest floppy curtains hairstyle going.

Again I desist - i still set my alarm for 7.20 - promptly ignore it for as long as possible and then see if i can gather my stuff together, scald throat with hot tea and a single dry weetabix and zoom to work. Why is it ideed that now living in a house on my own, my ability to have a timetable goes to pot?

All asides aside - i watched this programme tonight that charted the history of the Amnesty International stage shows that included such luminaries as Peter Cook, John Williams playing Il Cavatina from the Deerhunter and of course Monty Python. It brought back a lot of memories of having seen such sketches as the Parrot Sketch and the introduction of Rowan Atkinson as the Sadistic Headmaster, at an age that was far too young to enjoy such things thoroughly - but enjoy them i did....why do i go on...well simply, as Stephen Fry said at the end of the programme..."To quote some dead poet, as time progresses one never experiences the initial rapture of something first experienced".

I have to agree, whether it is a joke, a monument in some far flung place in the world, a first kiss or the sunset in a certain place. The latter of course never ceases to amaze me as which two sunsets could ever be the same? But I have found this certainly to be true, this lack of wonderment after first experience that has led me to find difficulty in staying in one job, on one career path, in one city, for long. Im not easily bored but just crave the new and wonderful all the time. I finally chose to become a doctor because the sheer multitude of difference diseases, or how they present, or how the story of the build up of the condition is related by a patient, never fails to amaze. For me the mixture of surgery and medicine and treating patients of all ages in Obstetrics and Gynaecology is far greater than any other speciality, and with each experience comes a new responsibility:

And so this brings me back to my public school, whose motto in ancient french "Quant Je Puis" means not "when I can" but " as much as I can." It still rings true today and I hope I never stop wishing to visit and take part in the new future - Brave New World perhaps still in an original 1948 copy sat on the cistern of the toilet of my old english teacher - now 76 and going strong.) Peter H thanks for the opportunity to discover new things.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Apologies

For those of you who think I can actually understand anything written by the genius in the last posting please believe me, I cant and didnt mean to imply that - if you know who wrote the thing below then you will find a "beautiful" film out there to watch.

Speaking of which "The Man" was a reasonable laugh - thanks Liv
"Must Love Dogs" on the other hand was abysmal even though starring whats his face from Gross Point Blank and High Fidelity (ahh yes John Cusack that was it) - what could have been a funny sweet film with some big names turned out to have a script and acting worse than and Dallas episode, which is somewhat amusing as most of the cast were from Dallas. Again my apologies to Sarah W, but you saw the trailers too!

In connection with the above film, several of my friends have become recently single, so we have tended to meet up for drinks from time to time...and it appears that some of us feel society is changing - almost all my friends are now married, and it made me realise that I havent yet been in the situation where I would propose...sure it would be a nice way to show that someone i truly love is someone i truly love, but loving someone and marrying them are two completely different things. What if you are at different crossroads in your life? Look at Renee Zelwegger and her Country and Western bloke - she cited deception in the divorce proceeds (or was it fraud) in that he had apparently promised to move in with her in Connecticut and then proceeded to want to stay on his ranch in California or the one in the caribbean. Tough love eh? But perhaps such intolerance has its place.

Although I am of settling down age, and am in a profession that leads people to marry others in the same profession, buy a house and get the shares portfolio running - i have yet to want to do so... i see a partner as someone you can share life with not necessarily a home. Although i am 31, because I spent a long time at uni im lifewise about 24 to 25 in keeping with my contemporaries. Because of this i tend to go out with people of that age. Its this lifewise age that means I still want to travel the world and shirk perhaps the odd responsibility, i want to perhaps change careers at some point and because...well just because. I have always felt sad that people might consider my age a shortcoming..i on the other hand think it has advantages...i feel less panicky about the unknown but am still young enough lifewise to still have the thrill of discovering the same! Life to me is STILL a journey and just as travelling abroad is far much more fun if someone travels with you (a shared experience always far outweighs any solo experience), I will always relish having someone to share life's journey....if they or I then wish to settle down then thats another hurdle to cross but not one so close yet. My father had my younger sister at the age of 50.... After all whats the rush?...and so I told my friends....we all left with smiles that night.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Problems





Can anyone tell me who wrote this theorem? - he is still alive and lectures at Princeton University

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Internet bah!

Being of noble character today I thought I would pay for an download the the new Warchild Album (try but low and behold, although they have MY money they keep coming up with an error about the server being busy...sigh

My little so called quiet sister now has PURPLE HAIR and listens to thrash metal - what next i wonder?

Go and watch mercury music prize = its worth it

Jxx

Sunday, September 04, 2005

absent friends

Today I go to sleep a very happy man. I discovered that the people you once thought you knew are still themselves, but with the mutablilty of life and time, everything takes a different slant.

I visited a beach today that i thought a while ago i would never see again - it was raining, there was lightning in the sky, but still i went into the fresh cold sea avoiding the rocks in the shallows with flipflops still on...and it was cold, but the best damn hangover cure i ever had...of course with exceptional company, one can do anything and believe they are capable of anything...thank you my friend.

J xx

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Two good films seen this week

The First is a spanish subtitled DVD called The Other Side of the Bed - lots of funny twists and turns with infidelity

THe second, which surprised me as it got so badly panned by the critics was The Island. Aside from obvious eye candy as Ewan MacGregor and Scarlet Johanssen the plot has lots of very good twists and turns and dollops of sci-fi and future bits and all sort for you to go and watch, and for those of you who know me if I like a thriller then it must be good as its my least favourite genre - anyone who isnt going to watch it can email and ill let them know the synopsis.

Take care

Jx

Friday, August 26, 2005

Autumn Cinema

Films to watch this autumn, after such a drole summer of rubbish

Everything is Illuminated – Elijah wood in amusing jewish comedy
Flightplan – Jodie Foster designs jumbo and flies on it!
Jarhead – Jake Gyllenhaal directed by the guy who did American Beauty –strange inside look at Gulf War 1
Elizabethtown – has Kirsten Dunst who soul mates the Elf from Lord Of the Rings, so im biased anyway
Pink Panther (great duo with Steve Martin and Jean Reno)
Corpse and Bride (Tim burton using same style as Nightmare Before Xmas – of course with Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter again)
In her Shoes – non predictable chick flick with Toni Collette (Muriel in Muriels wedding) and Cameron Diaz

Disabled badge anyone?


Now this is wonderful - take the smallest car you can find and do this with it.



And then this



You saw it here first, and i must apologise to the guest who left it there!

Thursday, August 25, 2005

The Lull Before the Storm


Well here i am - its a thursday lunchtime, ive had brekkie and read the newspaper in a cafe, ive washed the car with a jet wash that doesnt work (hence scratches on the paintwork - yes Shelley! real scratches not cobwebs:)) and i have little else to amuse me until i get 2 work tomorrow night. (* i have a week of night shifts). In my last job you used to work the thursday and just get the friday morning off but due to working time directives i have to have the day off before....the lull before the storm bit of course used to refer to a job where there was lots to do on nights, but apparently there will be little for me here - perhaps i can do some revision for that awful exam in march?

I did get my hair cut today so those exciting sidies you see in the piccie below have been banished for fear of scaring the horses. I also look about 17 apparently...without the need for face cream and all those other metrosexual bits required in sex and the city.

This week has been full of obituraries (can you tell i REALLY have nothing to do today), none more notable than either Slipper of the Yard (the one who tracked Ronnie Biggs from the great train robbery to Brazil) but possibly more sadly, Robert Moog, without whose synthesizers the 60's and 70's iconic bands would have had tunes more blase, less colourful.

The Beatles used them on Abbey Road to get more stoned sounds, as well as the Byrds, the Doors and others who could afford enough roadies to roll the 800 odd kilos of boxes and wires onto the stage for live gigs. (The advent of the Mini Moog led to the downfall of hernia repair specialists everywhere) For those who arent tempted to raid daddies cupbard full of vinyl you can hear a good Mini Moog on some of the White Stripes songs, and those of Oasis if you are getting the large multi-tasking barrel-scraper out. For those with a leaning towards American sounds then try nine inch nails, Pearl Jam, Sonic youth and WideSpread Panic.

Speaking of music Juliette Lewis has turned from Deniro-finger sucking vampy 16 year old dick tease in Cape Fear to rock chick and will be appearing as Juliette and the Licks at Reading and Leeds festivals this weekend.

For the more esoteric of you I shall leave you with this url to be seen only when about to prepare food - it comes of course in the wake of the strike by BA's catering services. Most interesting is the section on 1960's and 70's meals served by Aeroflot . (jesus i have got to get a life)

http://www.airlinemeals.net

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

an amusing aside from an old friend...

In response to the London bombings , AP and UPI reported that the French
Government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert
level from Run to Hide.
The only two higher levels in France are Surrender and Collaborate.
The rise was precipitated by a recent fire which destroyed France's white
flag factory, effectively disabling their military.

Sunday, August 14, 2005

The right brain



The following website i like www.therightbrain.co.uk - its an outlet for medics otherwise starved of non scientific interaction - im at the bottom in the music section with a piece called Kermit on Coke - the gif is like the one below - enjoy

Saturday, August 13, 2005

The week continues - a short story and some thoughts


my new job continues fine

this week i have been supervised in performing two operations both laparascopic, one is a sterilisation and the other the removal of an ectopic (born outside the womb and life-threatening) pregnancy. Both went well and im hooked on surgery now. Ive already booked a surgical skills course next month and will be sitting my first exams in march (it takes 3 goes on average to pass them but ill try and make it 2 as they cost 320 quid a go.) What does this all mean - im continuing with my career and its heading in an exciting direction with no distractions (well no serious ones anyway)

In the mean time heres a short story i wrote a few years ago which one night find amusing/interesting/dull as dishwater.

You’re sitting in the end carriage of the Inter-City train, stomach already burning from the second cup of black coffee, the first bought at Bristol Temple Meads and the second from the buffet car, just getting juiced up for the night.

The book is interesting but not enough to stop you noting the girl a few seats down tapping things into one of those electronic diaries, looking occasionally puzzled and writing something into a ledger. You can only see her between the head reats of the seats in front, but the view is enough.

“I’m not getting on a bus”’ you suddenly hear from the Welsh-Lass in the corner. The train’s going to Paddington you see, and you know as you hear the odd word, ‘Camberwell’, that she’s meeting someone that night in London.

You guess judging by the look: late teens, centre-parted-straight-down-to-the-shoulder-blades, blonde hair that she’s either meeting her mum or a bloke. Of course, being male yourself you bet it’s the boyfriend, and you play over in your mind what her night in London will be like. No, not the sex, but the arguments, the recriminations… she’ll be angry at him for dragging her up there. But you know when she first sees him that she’ll be all smiles and laughter. No, the first bitching will start in the taxi from the station. He’ll have forgotten to do something or will mention that he went out the other night, something he forgot to mention in his most recent ten-minutes-nightly, half-interested phone-call from the pub. She’s touching up her makeup now…maybe she’s getting off at Reading.

But even as you’re thinking this, your eye’s flitting over to the other girl – she’s older, perhaps, 29,32. She’s lot easier to watch as she doesn’t notice you looking at her, so engrossed is she in her clumsy-whole-handed grip writing, scribbling in her ledger. (Welsh-Lass is now brushing her hair, a trial run perhaps for if and when she gets off in London.)

The other woman is more tomboyish, cargo-pants instead of spray-on black polyester, surrounded by what look like fragments of a manuscript – well there’s writing on them …you aren’t sure if it’s hers or someone elses.

She’s wearing a green/white t-shirt. Again not the usual cheap cotton worn by Rhianne (let’s call our Welsh lass that shall we?) but looser than a crop top, with the slightly fuller breast of an older woman. She’s got shortish blonde/brown hair you see more than her face, she, still poring over the fragments, and when you do see her face, it’s there frozen, locken in concentration.

Scenario 1: – she’s tanned, and her style is that of a smartish, older student world traveller – so she’s kept a diary of her experiences on the electronic-thingy (which she still keep s referring to and seems now to be transcribing the contents onto patterned paper, to friends and unknowns like…all the sights and sounds and sensations she recorded whilst in the Outback, or taking those can’t-fail-but-be-natural haunting photographs of the orphaned Penomh Penh/ Calcutta/ Mbabane children, clutching the biro given to them to make them smile.) But she seems a little more pensive than that – something more creative perhaps?

Scenario 2: she’s been travelling, but is writing a book on her experiences (Welsh-Lass is now listening to dance music on her personal stereo, but keeps rewinding and fast-forwarding, the tiny sounds on the edge of hearing like a mosquito on the inside of the bed-net.) The intensity with which she looks at those pieces of paper suggest this, even though some of them are folded over, as if taken out of a small envelope – perhaps a secret correspondent…but why has she pulled out the electro-gizmo again?

Scenario 3: - she’s in fact a modern-day female Indiana Jones, small-time archaeologist decrypting the scribbles on the papers, hastily copied down from outside a tomb in Ulan Bator.

As the train pulls into Reading she prepares to get off, and all the time all you want to to do is to ask, to know what she was writing…but this is England…random approaches to solitary women on a night train will turn some heads, get unnecessary questions asked. You almost get the courage up to slip you email address into the top of her rucksack as you bump into them, but before the chance arises she is off the train, down the platform and off into the night…you never bothered whether Welsh-Lass got off the train.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

iTunes

For those of you who look at the iTunes store - i just noticed that you can log into stores all round the world - theres even a greek one with the top ten hit by the Armageddon Dildos - some punk german technoband - i wonder if dildo translated into greek properly or do they think its really shit hot stuff anyway?

Jx

Friday, August 05, 2005

A couple of jokes

What do you call an Aardvark who wont fight?


A vark

There was an explosion at a car part factory - the newsheadlines said it was raining Datsun cogs

For amusement please look at this site and read it to the bottom http://www.venganza.org/

The high life

Have just woken up after a few post shift pints - the new job is lovely and its a very different feeling being an SHO - you no longer feel like a mule in the job like a houseman. I am now fully registered to practise in this country in any capacity...its almost like graduating again.

This week has been mainly clinics but fun all the same - have decided to go for MRCOG (college exams for Obs and Gynae) as i can either stay in the speciality, go for radiology with the same exam or become a GP - however after chatting to a couple of Mumbles Colleagues today i might also jump over to new zealand for a bit before settling into my career.

In the meantime i have been voted to become social rep for the O&G lot so will have to think of original things outside the Philly (medics pub) in town - i think the next stop should be the Glee Club in the bay.

The house is taking shape- i keep going to tescos and sainsbury's to buy new quilt covers (3 double bedroom), and things for the kitchen.

Its a nice little sun trap out the back (ok there isnt a trillion tonne ball of gas in my back yard but you know what i mean)

Tara

Jamie x

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

The rules of divorce

1. The next person you sleep with will not be your life partner - you will be getting over the last. If you're not then you either have good compartmentalisation of feelings (which will eventually rear their ulgy head again when you least expect it) or you didnt love them in the first place. If you feel happy about never seeing them again then maybe you werent in it in the first place. You have to however try to imagine this as a single person to ensure your next encounter isnt blurring the feelings of the last. Of course its much easier to go out on a sexathon and eminiently more enjoyable than sat at home hugging a pillow in the corner of a pitch black room, your tears smudging the ink of the till receipt they bought you a toothbrush with. A very close friend did well on casual acquaintances when he said to every next girl "im not mr right but im mr right now". Why so many went for it is up to debate but probably the challenge, if not the no-ties sex.

2. Any songs/films/coffee brand you used to share will remind you of your ex - when they stop reminding you then you have moved on, but you may also find that you dont ever enjoy the songs again, as the shared feelings they invoked were intregral to the enjoyment. Of course if your ex used to listen to such pap that you only tolerated it through the rosy tinted specs of love then this transition will probably be very quick. I have found a transitional song by Thom Yorke and PJ Harvey "This Mess Were In"...one of them is the new and one of them is the old. In fact its worth trying on its merits alone.

3. All attempts to speed the moving on process by obliterating the old with new experiences dont really speed it up they just cushion the transition.

4. You will wake up one morning where the occasional twinge of regret will be completely replaced by a new found love of new opportunities and freedom. It is ok to feel both for a while.

5. Live life fast die young, ever upwards and onwards etc

Love j xx

Saturday, July 30, 2005

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

What a delightfully f*cked up film directed and rehashed in Tim Burtons own inimtable way. Havent laughed out loud in ages especially when willy wonker shows a far darker side to him than in Dahls book. Danny Elfman of course comes through well with excellent psychedelic music.

Am on call tonight - had better go get some sleep before work

J xx

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

and there is of course the poem that shaped me, my seeking my adventure

"And the days are not full enough"

And the days are not full enough
And the nights are not full enough
And life slips by like a field mouse
Not shaking the grass

Ezra Pound

My summer of love

Just seen a very good modern art house film - my summer of love - worth a look and in blockbusters at the moment - its gotme thinking about being at boarding school for 12 years - strange - one just has to lkook at dead poets society and you will get one side of things - another country is another film that add flavour - but especially also the film i saw tonight.... on the ever more domestic front i have just been given a double bed by my friend - dont know which room of three to stay in - perhaps we could have a vote?

the back bedroom is light in the morning (like a summer room really) but next door likes to play drums and it reverberates -

the front room is very much the master bedroom, large imposing, nassiuve desk - i.e. the ideal place to put new bed...the only trouble is the room is very bright and little sleep will be had - unless i get some blackout curtain (9.99 in dunelm i believe)

at the momnet the compromise seems to be the middle bedroom which is the smallest and to tell you the truth was going to use as a study...but we shall see

oh dear - it seems I am becoming more domesticated as we speak - thenew cutlery speak wonders of course and im sure most of this will be read tongue in cheek.

Anyway heres a poem i read at a-level by seamus heaney - it might be worth it in the end

Digging

Between my finger and my thumb
The squat pen rests; as snug as a gun.

Under my window a clean rasping sound
When the spade sinks into gravelly ground:
My father, digging. I look down

Till his straining rump among the flowerbeds
Bends low, comes up twenty years away
Stooping in rhythm through potato drills
Where he was digging.

The coarse boot nestled on the lug, the shaft
Against the inside knee was levered firmly.
He rooted out tall tops, buried the bright edge deep
To scatter new potatoes that we picked
Loving their cool hardness in our hands.

By God, the old man could handle a spade,
Just like his old man.

My grandfather could cut more turf in a day
Than any other man on Toner's bog.
Once I carried him milk in a bottle
Corked sloppily with paper. He straightened up
To drink it, then fell to right away
Nicking and slicing neatly, heaving sods
Over his shoulder, digging down and down
For the good turf. Digging.

The cold smell of potato mold, the squelch and slap
Of soggy peat, the curt cuts of an edge
Through living roots awaken in my head.
But I've no spade to follow men like them.

Between my finger and my thumb
The squat pen rests.
I'll dig with it.

Sunday, July 24, 2005

back online

its been a couple of days since i last wrote anything here - well ok a week.

Ive moved house. One of my ex's will hate me for this but its turned me into an incredibly tidy person. I am now house proud and can been seen (by stalkers and peeping toms at any rate,) running around the house stark bollock naked in a pinny and feather duster! My kitchen is a dream to cook in and i have just bought a new chopper and chopping board.

Today I went to howells to buy some cutlery - god its expensive - even in the sale - but I did see a nice mattress for my new bed that i am being given by a mate. its 300 quid tho so I will have to save and save. WIll someone please explain to me - how is it that before I had my own place with my own space, was i so completely hopeless at caring for it - i would leave dirty dishes for weeks - i would leave clothes on the floor - its the same in the hospital accommodation - but give me somewhere to live I can call my own and its turned into the Tandoori paradise!

Last night I saw Joe Black and was so moved had to write the following down on laptop, whilst waiting for broadband to be installed in house (now I need some other bureaucratic pin number to log on but there you go)

"Just been watching Joe Black – in previous times I’ve watched it I hadn’t considered it to be one of my fave films of all time, but I suppose like many things, ones views change, or can be affected by ones mood. There is a scene in the hospital where Joe (played by the boyish Brad Pitt) chats to a Jamaican woman who is dying – he speaks to her in creole, and all is better with the world….the music is a little corny and perhaps a pre-runner of Thomas Newman’s Six Feet Under or Finding Nemo (Copeland has a lot to answer to)…but it fits all perfectly….just seen the credits – it was Thomas newman after all.
(the girls might have brad pitt to like but the guys at least get Claire forlani!)
Another scene has the enviable phrase….”I like things like…having a food that you cant do without”. It reminds me that one always has needs….that is to me what life is about.

Or how about “Men who never talk about themselves are always married aren’t they”? Hey a film that gives men ammunition..how great is that?

I saw the Live 8 concert and saw pink Floyd – a group I haven’t listened to in years as band after band have influenced how I see the world. Perhaps when you are with a certain person your music and other tastes change. 6 months ago I liked only indie music, greek salads and red wine….now I am alone again I found myself listening to the St Matthew Passion in the car…a piece of music I performed 15 years ago….and tears well to my eyes. How could it be when I was with a composer did I not wish to hear classical music and now I am not it shines into my life again. My preference of drink is currently white wine, although that could be just the weather. The occasional luxury cigarette is also relished, although with passing time one should tone downs ones excesses.

Why such an odd ditty? Just the realisation that no matter what life throws at you, the world is an incredibly mutable place, full of wonder, and full of new things around the corner."

New bads being listened to include Sigur Ros, Royksopp, James Blunt, Nine Black Alps "unsatisfied" and "Doorbell" by the white stripes which is ironically quite appropriate having just moved.

ON the music front - how the hell did Coldplay get so much airtime from BBC radio Sycophant - they all sound the bloody same and are certainly not in the same league as U2 etc - this drivel leads me to...wait for it the radio1 playlist...try http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/chart/playlist.shtml here for information - i was surprised at how few songs they actually have to play.....no wonder you can be catapulted to fame quicker than charlotte churches knockers on a telephone camera.

Anyway tatty bye - need to go see a film or something

Love Jamie xx

Thursday, July 14, 2005

phone

phone is now running again - however using old phone - if you want to hear from me then getmessaging again so i can pick up your number.....

heres a bit of brief from last day in spain

met some guys from my school (although ten years younger . the same bullshit stories to try to lure the girls in, still work

discovered that at the end of the day - unless theres something in it for them, the majority of the spaniards I met were rude, greedy and selfish. Any request for help was met with disdain and a look of pity. Sorry, I can only comment on the 100 or so i met - maybe they all know each other.

GOt phone stolen in airport - will remember not to use two panniers in future - for those 2 of you ready to make comments about me losing stuff try and look into your own past and realised that you're not so fucking perfect yourselves.

Was very glad to eventually get back to UK and am now moving house - watch this space

Jamie xx

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

mobile probs

For those who have been trying to get in contact - my mobile has been out of action for the last 48 hours and I wont get anyones texts for at least another 72 hours - the only major disadvantage with 3 mobile is this wasiting for azges for new sim cards

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

In Good company

Without this appearing to be a commercial venture - i have just seen a wonderful feelgood film about the bits and pieces but the music was very good...a little like Good Will Hunting

The DVD has scarlett johannssen in it and is called In Good Comapny

the following is the track list if you want indeererererevidual songs

Glass Concrete and Stone – David Byrne
Gone for Good (The Shins – from James Mercer)
Sister Surround – Soundtrack of our lives
Naked as we came – Iron and Wine
Get wit me – Wreck and Dante Powell
Chain of Fools – Arethra Franklin
Cannonball – Damien Rice
Sunset soon Forgotten – Iron and Wine
Besame Mucho – Diana Krall
Ten Years ahead – soundtrack of our lives
Those to come – The Shins – from James Mercer
Solsbury Hill – Peter Gabriel
Reeling in the Years – Steeleye Dan
The Trapeze swinger – Iron and Wine



Some real news will be posted as soon as we enter reality again!

j xcx

Saturday, July 09, 2005

A poem

Why Did I Dream of You Last Night?


Why did I dream of you last night?
Now morning is pushing back hair with grey light
Memories strike home, like slaps in the face;
Raised on elbow, I stare at the pale fog
beyond the window.

So many things I had thought forgotten
Return to my mind with stranger pain:
- Like letters that arrive addressed to someone
Who left the house so many years ago.

Philip Larkin

The highs and Lows

I believe Jo Whiley (Queen of Indie Kitten on Radio 1...purr) does the highs and lows of things like Glastonbury...heres one of my own


One high is waking up next to Scarlet Johannssen in my bed this morning
the low was realising it was just her picture on the back of the telegraph

A low was misreading some of the names in the bomb blast
the high realising i should really put my glasses on before reading names in the paper and almost reaching for the mobile to call the international hotline

Low: Im not getting much cycling done here in spain
High: Im not getting much cycling done here in spain and can pop down the beach 100metres from my door instead!

Low: Being on holiday alone and not being able to share things with someone close
High: Being on holiday alone and meeting lots a mad Irish people and not getting to bed util 4.30am (AGAIN....groan)

Low: having to eat KFC as the bars dont open for food between 12 and 5pm
High: well there isnt one to that im afraid

anyway...enough of that....

I was meant to go out last night with some canadian students last night from the pension, but managed to sleep for too long by which time I had just missed them leaving by ten minutes...out into the street I went, already thronging with thousands of spaniards (note there are virtually NO british to be found here - they prefer it more in Benidorm to the north, plus theres been a little less interest here in recent times due to the ETA bomb on the sea front a while ago

will be back in a mo need to opo back to pension for money

here I am again

since the blast in london the police presence here has been pretty high profile, not sure why, maybe theres a general alert in Spain too. There were a couple of massive explosions that made everyone jump earlier today but it seems it was just one of the massive firecracker sessions they do on a regular basis for whatever festival is going on.

I fell asleep earlier on to beowken by a haunting choir outside what I thought was the window...in fact it was coming from the cathedral opposite. I marvel always at the architecture here . most buildigs have the fantastic on theoutside...not so with the cathedral...it looks like a dull square building from outside, but once inside the place is massive, quietly imposing and with shafts of light from the incredibly small but high windows punctuating old incense. Statues of the madonna abound and many people alone are here sat contemplating, paying perhaps for the lottery..who knows.

The faces of people interest me the most. Of course almost everyone here is in fantastic shape, almost sculped by the waves and sands of the mediterranean, and obsesity seems to be reserved only for the elderley who seem content to sit out their lot, play chess and puff constantly from small black cigars. But the faces....there are broadly two types of people here, the typical spanish with slightly large nose, very well defined eyes whether wearing makeup or not, dark and blonde; and on the other side there are a people who look very south american and are generally shunned by the rest. I dont know whether these are people who have come from CHile or peru seeking fortune, or whether this is a particularly indiginous look.

When on the beach today i saw family family family, no arguing just contentment. A small child came up to me and said Por favor pointing at my bottle of water...his mother rushed over to scold and apologise, but those little eyes and the upturned nose just struck a note in me.

As I woke earlier, I was greeted by the open balcony of my new room (there is a couple moved into my old room) and behiond the balcony the massive edifice of the castle which is on my photos website but only in the dark so far (I will update the photos once I am home).

I think I am just saying that at last after trying to get the medic out of me, I have found peace....I woke up yesterday and only just realised now that I am a doctor, but my holiday has served its pupose and I have been removed from the grind that is my job.

But back to last night...i bumped into the four irish girls, (three teachers and one IT consultant) and after saying hello, they said "well jimmy boy are you coming or not"....i miss that side of life. We went to a couple of places for sangria and then to club havana which is worth a look but there is little space for dancing...and boy can the spaniards dance...Andy B all is forgiven we miss your little steps!

When you walk around alicante in the day, apart from the fast food stores you cannot see any sign of life...all windows are barred and shuttered against the harsh...but at night like an anemone (awww Find Nemo i miss you) the place becomes incredibly vibrant. In the same space as downtown cardiff you will find approimately 1000 bars, most with seats outside, and those that are not are often just a window sized door leading down to a cellar or up to a roof where you can drink Moquitos if you like, a wonderfully potent but refreshing drink made of lemon, some unknown alcohol and fresh mint leaves all mashed up in a teapot. I feel sad that I dont know the name of the bar we went to for that as they pùrport to sell only the best in Alicante. WE then went on for food which is unbelievably cheap (about a third to a quarter of the UK price for similar sized portions)

Some of the girls had to go back to catch a plane early in the morning so I was left with two and we stumbled into a four story house dopwn a backstreet, thronging with spaniards only, dancing to spanish music without a hint of pop in sight....imagine the passion and heat and the rythmic gyrating of so many and you will only be a tenth of the way there....what a wonderful way to finish my night, leaving me sober but tired enough to fall asleep against the music from downstairs.....

Friday, July 08, 2005

the Pope - he leeeves - in alicante of all places!

Well here I am back in Alicante

This decision was a culmination of several events - not being able to get any more accommodation in Murcia as the uni medical school has hogged all the room for graduation, not being keen to have a 9 hour train ride on a tiny train to Bilbao, having eventually got advice from other cyclists that the hills are just too wearing unless you are training for tour de france/triathlon, and basically at the end of the day feeling like I had bitten off more than i could chew with the heat.

Again, whilst cycling today ended up in the desert at 42 degrees c....etc sodit im getting a train. I was tempted to get the train to Alicante, get to the airport and get the next flight home to do some serious mileage in an easier climate...but then I had one last go at finding somewhere nice to stay in Alicante.

I went from very depressed feeling like its no fun being on holiday on ones own, not speaking the language (although having learned the essentials such as wheres the loo, wheres the internet, does my arse look big in this etc), terribly missing previous holiday chums cos they´re either getting married and under the thumb or are ex´s. For those who received a despondent text, have no fear cos im here for a few more days at least.

Last time i was here i saw only a few main areas of alicante, this time i went to tourist information (I think the 500 gram lonely planet guide might ned up getting binned at this rate) and found the cheapest hostel in the arse end of the town...however it might seem a dank area, its got so many nooks and crannie and bars and cafe´s hidden away its a bit like the Medina in Marrakech.

I was greeted at the Pension Cathedral by a rather short bronzed septuagenarian man who had so many crucifixes around his neck and resembled Pope John Paul II so much I thought the man had in fact risen on the third day(ye gods remembering that appalling catholic Jesuit upbringing i had to endure)...aaaaaaanyway after him saying i couldnt possibly stay cos ihad a bike his not so sacred eyes lit up when i offered to pay the full 12 quid for a double room in order to keep the bike there! By the way this chap doesnt speak a word of english but understands a few words of greek and french plus sign language, we managed to muddle through...hurrah for opposable thumbs indeed! My room is clean, it has an amazing balcony (again) with a better view than the 5 star abode round the corner and is seated just above the casino, the internet cafe and best irish american bar ive been to.

Popping downstairs to have a quick caña (half pint) i met an american barmaid called megan and her aunt who is visiting. Incidentally she´s 21 shagging the 47 year iranian bar manager which her aunt is not meant to know and so between you guys, me and the lampost we shall have to treasure this dirty secret to the end of our days. Another incidentally as soon as the bar manager found out i was a doctor he asked why his viagra wasnt working on his 4 girlfriends - anyone with any (clean) suitable suggestions can send a postcard to Dirty Old Hamed, Austin Powers Bar, Plaza Mexico, Alicante etc.

In short my mood is much better and Im off down the beach tomorrow (34 km away so still cycling) as long as tonights revellery (or is it just revelry).

I shall leave you all for now and i hope you are all well. Take care

Love Jamie xx

PS starting to get a twinge in upper right four...i hope this isnt the start of a toothache as dentists here are all private:(

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Cycling, heat desert

HI All

Sorry its been a day or two - ive seen lots of lovely sights but due to recent circs e.g. the london bombings i have clean forgotten a few of them.

Anyway...yesterday still in alicante at 11a.m.- deciding whether to escape alicante for madrid, i eventually alighted on the idea of heading towards Murcia, partly biking it (47km and getting the train as well 40 km) - the ticket you get anywhere along the line is 2 euros fifty would put BR out of business immediately were you to follow suit.)

First despondent day- got a little burned in the desert stretches on my 40 km hike (total water drunk about 6 litres, total output 500mls very dark colour which either puts me in abject renal failure or just very dehydrated. Have opted for latter to be on safe side....the desert did actually get too dry to cross and i began to think "hmmm maybe this cycling around spain in 37 degrees was not such a good idea...ive not met an english speaker in days (normally not a problem but sain is first country ive not managed to get around in linguistically for a very long time) ive got a little heatstroke and i cant even put my bike in storage on the train and the train stops every 5 km so need to move bike away from door as locals keep saying loco Ingles when they see me. As only got ticket one way was very tempted just to keep going from murcia to madrid fly back and find a less bloody hot and mountainous country.

Anyway before i got on the train the 40km i did involved having to cycle 20km twice in order to pick up mobile from hotel! plus another 20km across desert- was in fact very enjoyable with slightly exhausting 1 in 50 hill climbs that just went on for km after km. However, spanish drivers are not as previously described manic deviants but incredibly courteous, takgin very long wide berthof any pasty looking morons on two wheels on the road.

I eventually made it to Elche (spelled Ex) and enjoyed sitting in cafe outside train station with v strong coffee and spanish book (which I think i might ditch at next possible moment). Elche is famous for two things palm trees (29000 of the bloody things line the immaculate streets (note this town is the size of clitheroe in lancs) and apparently they produce 20 million pairs of shoes a year as well.

Note...everything in this country is wonderfly slow....i turned up in time for the train (the guy said tris emeres which I took to mean 3 in the afternoon from the greek and not half three in spanish and so i settled down with the local newspaper and a lovely spanish potato and cheese flan....it nearly all wentr horribly wrong when i went to the wrong platform after reading hand written sign for platform two which i later found out the conductors remove about 1 minute before a train arrives ' imagine underground station steps (no escalators) withppor sod trying to hoof bike up and down stairs with unbelievably awkward panniers threatening to topple two wheels at any one moment.

Train jounrey was as above - fantastic desert scenes with scarey mid size mountains in every direction. I eventually arrived in Murcia, which I think must be a uni town judging by the innocent looking chiquitas in rugby tops at the railway station. Talking of chiq type sounding words what is it with spaniards and chihuahuas? I klnow the bloody things came from south america originally but they´re not big and they´re not clever.....ive seen sister shaggers from Gloucester walking around with ferrets on a string and you get the idea.

Murcia is a wonderful city - very colonial amazing buildings very tall buildinged thin alleyways that youcould possible run from one balcony to another. Managed to everntually find Pension HispaÑo II for 20 euros a night. But before that here is my first accident.

Just pedalled over river through alleyway onto mainroad...about to turn left into oncoming traffic before realising not in england and hey presto left knee hit by wing mirror of car doing 40 mph....lots of agony and then slow motion collapse of bike and rider (who...cant...get...the..damn...feet...out...of...the...pedals in time) onto ground on two outstretched hands and left knee...thankfully just v bad bruising and a gashed left slightly wobbly knee and skin missing off shin....Hey im no longer a crash virgin!

Bike thankfully ok as body took the main impact.

Back at the hotel got bike upstairs (this pension looks like a 1930´s evita peron in Argentina type place very dark inside and well lit in the front rooms on first floor which gives me ample opportunity to watch people walk on the marble tiles outside (everywhere is either gold plated or marble in this city how the hell do they afford it?), ample opportunity to either drop peanuts down the cleaveage of beauties (as if!!!)below or to note that men tend to walk alone in the evening and mother and daughter (whether 35 and 10 or 75 and 50 without exception shop together...the young children still wear virgin white dresses to the ankle...there are the peasant folk (local gypsies despised by the bolder lighter skinned iberians here) and the musicians whos repertoire on guitars and squeezeboxes seems more 40´s french than spanish.

Of course the hotel is in an alleyway overlooking the biggest FUCK OFF gargantuan cathedral i have seen in a long time! YOu´´ll have to excuse thelast expletive once of the guys I met in the hotel is very ,very camp and knows stonyhurst and i was imitating him plus his friend Kate who is also a teacher at the same school on holiday. After denying alcohol for total of 15 mins on the grounds I might like to cycle the next day i thought sod it im on holiday.....my god english speaking people whom i normally avoind like the plague what a god send!

the usual story ensues of going out with them for tapas at 8pm then coming home at 3pm after 100 euros worth of boozing and if you ever get the chance then there is a little bar called....damn...i cant rememer.... alcohol poisoning with a lovely bar man that both andrew and kate fancied.

Today was spent at the local municipal pool that shames the olympic one in swansea (why do so called poorer countries in rurope get their priorities right?) and am now beetroot colored after lovely day in sun failing to do telegraph cryptic crossword!

And so we get onto the subject of bombings....i dont have a great deal to say on the matter other than that already texted to everyone on my phone, but short and and simple....murder, especially such indiscriminate kind is unforgivable and anyone who undertakes it will get their just desserts, I could say more but this blog would turn very very ugly in a very very short period of time. I would prefer that such things had not happened but there we go

On a lighter note and appalling joke from Andrew of Oxford Uni

Q: How many Oxford Dons does it take to change a light bulb?
A: (with glasses perched on nose) like an Oxford Don "Change? Change? what on earth is that?)

Oh well

Heres some personal messages

Go home, be good, sleep tight

Love Jamie xx

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

ALicante - not such a pit after all

Well im here...i am having problems uploading photos and getting this damn spanish keyboard to use the spacebar but you should be able to see my photos for this trip at photos.yahoo.com/hipponax1973.

For those of you who have read that i was going to madrid on my flight this is not you losing your minds as Bill gates sucks your souls dryon the internet but as you can see in the files below you can indeed see this written by myself.

However thanks to British rail Imiseed myflightinyet anotherJOhnCleesemanner.Atfirst livid, I just thought "sod it ill go to anywhere on the next easy jet flight.

a la faulty towers the excuse this time at the train station was as follows.

"Im sorry sir, were not allowed to keep bikes in the station as they pose a security risk"
"What?" was my exasperated reply as I then found i was going to have to take my bike 4 miles away in the sleeting rain and cycle it back in again. (By the way sarah dont worry about bashing the car - its insured and now that someone has taken a swipe at the rear wheel arch in tescos ijust dont care and they can go all Black and Decker on its ass for all its worth. (NB Sarah this doesnt however give you licence to go ramraiding at H&M)

Anyway to cut a long story short and after coming back and issuing such sounds that made babies cry and motherscover the eyes and ears of their off sprìng in my tirade against the bureaucracy of British Rail, which, by the way cant afford to f*ck over its customers all the time. (For everyone´s information a man could insult my family and kill my dog and I would barely bat an eyelid, but were he to use the words "I cant sir, its against HEALTH AND SAFETY REGULATIONS.." redmist would descend over my eyes and noone would even be safe in a room full of marsh mallows....

Ahem again

i came back and got the later train to Bristol Airport. PLease note that every conductor, train manager, bus driver and even traffic policeman tried their hardest to put any obstacle in front of my safe passage of the bike to the airport, but finally I arrived at Bristol, dismantled Shergar (which my trusty steed will forthwith be known) boxed him and switched flights to alicante.

Easy jet in the end are a fantastic airline to be with and the flight was lovely uneventful and full of English trash:)

When we landed it was about 25 degrees and after putting the bike back together in thew arrivals lounge (bike temp was about 4 degrees as in cargo hold and looked like the delorean in back to the future with steam coming off it (imagine red faced jamie cursing as pedals wont quite go back on the right way around and pumping a tire in such humidity makes one look quite simply like a hooligan....)

but i desist

I was advised by a nice essx rep man that the town was only about 4 km down the road and i thought...fine i know its night time, he says its a quiet road everything will be fine..

EIGHTEEN kilometres later on a dual carriageway inhabited only by lorry drivers on smack, i was getting a little worried but headed towards the lights of alicante..first of all past the sewage works and then past no less than 40 odd prostitutes south of the town (apparently the russians have moved in cash, property and pros).

THe town centre was deserted of brits and in fact I found a lovely little harbour like the marina in swansea with bars stil open with locals.

Accommodation you say? Well i tried every place in the Lonely PLanet guide (weighs about 600 grammes, I could use it to rob a jewellers if I run out of cash) but to no avail as the locals are on holiday...I eventually made it back towards the airport and got a room for 59 euros at the Hotel Ibis who found a cancellation and felt sorry for me sat on the pavement getting far too much abuse from russian hookers.

Air condition,,shower, beer, crap american tv, asleep......

TODAY - 6km ride in alicante town at 10 a.m. (which goes against my idea of getting up at 6.30 a.m. every day to escape the heat but i did only get to bed at 3.45 a.m.) THere are some photos at the website address above including a couple of black and white ones (I think that the spanish were destined to only be shot in B&W...it brings out the latin looks a lot more....

More tomorrow - i havent decided how much further to cycle today and may get train to valencia or madrid, or Murcia (google it) as over night

Total miles so far :22
TOtal idiots so far :22
Total flat tires so far :0

Adios amicos

Jamie xx

Monday, July 04, 2005

18 hours to go

At last...the build up is worse than Live 8 and no fit presenters (if you can see old Sir Bob in that light then good luck to you) to tide you over until the off....

I am flying tomorrow from Bristol at 5 .45 pm landing at 9pm in Madrid and then getting overnight to Bilbao on northern coast. What a bloody palaver (if anyone knows the background (grandad?) of the word Palaver then i would be most grateful)

In order to fly on a plane with the bike you require a bike box...here is the phonecall to Bristol Airport

Advice Person "Yes sir you are allowed to take the bike with you...you however need a bike box, which we used to sell down in check-in"
Me : "USED to sell?"
Advice person : "Thats correct sir"
Me "Do you get regular fliers with their bikes?"
Advice Person : "Oh yes sir"
Me "And theres no boxes to sell to these fliers"
Advice Person : No sir, I believe you can bring them with you though"
Me "And where on a bike do you think i put a bike box?
Advice Person : I didnt think of that. I can put you through to the cleaning company if you like?
Me: "Sorry? I thought we were talking about bike boxes - why on earth do i want to talk to your contractors?"
Advice person: I thought that they might be able to give you some cardboard boxes, sir. Please hold whilst i connect you {greensleeves ensues, gleefully massacred by the Azabaijanian Dwarf Assembly Quartet)

etc ad nauseam

I feel dirty and need a shower - i assume john cleese has to go through this at every opportunity

Spanish airports have an absolute industry running bike boxes at 10 euros a throw. Much as I would like to have the stabilisers stolen off my beast i think it safer all round if the thing is wrapped up so that some poor unfortunate worker doesnt get a derailleur through the orbit! AAAAAANNyway..I have got an idea - i will drive from Morriston Swamp to cardiff, borrow box there from bike shop, get dropped off at trainstation, wrap box on train, put box in bottom of Airport express at temple meads put on plane and hope that it (bike) doesnt get diverted to Kuala Lumpur.

Remember that bloody stupid Millenium Jellyfish that has wormed its way onto the credits of Eastenders looking from space like a giant Madonna Nipple of the 80's era? Well the 800 million odd that that cost could have gone on cycle paths etc. Bastards.

Anyway chaps at the bottom of each post you will note the toggle to make a comment - please feel free to do so(as it will make me feel that this trip has some comedy value) although extreme abuse I believe gets moderated by the bosses of the website.

Take care my lovelies (sorry Bristol)

Jamie xx

MASH and bangers

I have just been watching some more MASH on DVD - whether you are medically minded or not, this stuff is pure lotion for the soul. I will recommend this as a salve to anyone on a low or high point, recently divorced, lost the lottery or bought shares with Railtrack. I think there must be some sort of gene that makes people either love it or hate it - i thought it was an age thing as some of my younger friends in their early twenties dont get the jokes but then again some of my other friends in their early 20's cant get enough.

Father - you used to watch this when you were stationed abroad BAOR etc- how was it then?
Grandad - you used to tell me tales in Johannesburg that kept me awake for hours - I wish i had more to tell you outside medicine
Michelle - thanks for the drinks whilst watching MASH - they make it all the more hilarious. I hope you are better soon as Flares aint the same without you
Alun - i hope you never get posted, life would be al too simple with you not around
Perks - did you ever see it?
Goodhand - its been too long - get in touch - i hope you are producing kids rather than just music now
Andrew B - thanks for being an inspiration - especially with the Edinburgh Cycles link - they got me to choose the right bike in the end
Mrs B - thanks for being one of the most generous people i know in body spirit and mind

The following will only make sense to Cardiff Medics past and present

CHAPTER 10 - A New Beginning

....In a galaxy far far away
....The forces of evil are ever present
....Management have taken over all sensibilities
....The rebel alliance is taking heavy casualties against Management onslaught, under the soundbite leadership of Darth Brown-Gimp of the Assembly but we will prevail.....
....Nurse practitioner squadrons are proving vital in their communiques with the enemy
....Master Win-Ter-Burn, head of the Council, my he rest in peace, has been sighted saying ".....Use the forks, use the forks", after the latest NHS canteen budget....

And so we continue...

Sunday, July 03, 2005

The start of that almighty trip i never shut up about


Well I thought that this would probably be the fairest place to start writing things as can just send my webbie address to everyone.

1. I now have all the gear - I thought I was going to spend x-amount of money just on kit but for x i have almost got the whole holiday paid for - i now own a nice new shiny marin fairfax (its on the Marin website) with carbon front forks carriers and panniers on the bike and, oh, yes reflectors, although I have been reliably warned that its marginalyl safer cycling at night as the locals are eating and drinking and smoking their little brains out rather than "skimming" (the local sport done during the day before and after siesta (with so much sleeping and festivals how does the country do anything I wonder?)) which involves driving as close to cyclists as possible and clipping them off their bikes in such as way that as they crash to the gorund they cant recognise your number plate and sue you.....its little wonder that in 1999 spanish parliament banned cycling from so many different roads in spain and dont you DARE ride without a helmet.....

Ahem - here is my COMPLETE kit list

Bike, panniers,pump,toolkit,repair kit,ipod,camera,mobile,toothbrush and paste plus razor, cycling shoes,2 cycling shirts,2 shorts, ultralightweight waterproof, pair of linen trousers and shirt,inner tube,helmet,suncream,sunnies, and i believe one passport and 2 credit cards - total weight 6 kg (plus the flip flops) and it STILL feels bloody heavy on the back of the bike

2. Someone or something doesnt want me to do the trip. Whilst purchasing the bike and adding SPD pedals (google it) i manage to go over badly on my ankle...whilst fitting SPDS to bike manage to stand up too quickly and bang head drawing blood - whilst test riding bike damaged right wrist - the list is endless but amusing in a 3 stooges sort of way.

3. As usual, something I learned from my ex, everything has been left to the last second, but as another ex said it must be exciting to go away on holiday and not know when you are coming back - bless her heart I love her to bits..:) I am debating whether to fly to wait for it...Bilbao, Barcelona, Madrid, errrm Cadiz, Valencia...etc or even somewhere completely different such as Sardinia, Serbia, France ~(e.g. toulouse) on the basis that most budget airlines will do a cheapo to one of these places. Only trouble is if you buy a return the ticket is real cheap but if you buy a single quite expensive so is a circular route better or a run and scramble (i.e. cycle as far as poss and get train back in time for flight). Alternatively i could just risk it and turn up to the airport like I did when i was 20 - far much more fun.

4. The plan at the mo is to follow coastal routes - i was originally going to cycle bilbao (for the Guggenheim) to Barcelona (for the Cathedral) and then get a train if i need to in between cos Spain is unblievably hot inland (up to 42 degrees apparently. I have been advised to get up at 6 most mornings and cycle for 2-5 hours before the sun gets too high. The only trouble is with our siesta loving comrades is that such early rises need early to bed and most of them dont eat til 10pm so we will have to overcome that hurdle too..

5. For those nutty enough its worth planning this kind of shebang in advance and actually get fit...not easy for me as I have slaving away in my favourite hospital shit-hole, but hopefully i can pick it up as i go along

More stuff tomorrow and maybe some photos if that is possible and hopefully a flight will appear at some point too

Take care

J xx